Building Minimalist Dialogue

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“How could you propose to me with my wedding ring in a pizza box?” Charlotte screamed at Charles.

“I just thought it was reminiscent of our first date when we had take out with pepperoni.”

“That is not my point!” she snarled at him.

OR

“How could you?”

“The pepperoni was clean!”

“Not my point,” she snarled.

Okay. Every writer handles dialogue differently but there are advantages to using fewer words. The pace is faster, you can save your word count for something else, and it can evoke questions in the reader's mind. But how to get there?

Reduce dialogue tags. Dialogue tags are rarely needed when there are only two speakers – especially when they have different voices.

Reduce action tags. Action tags get boring quickly – especially when they do not add to the plot. And they distract from the main action (the dialogue).

Reduce description. Description typically slows the pace of the passage and lowers the feeling of tension (these can be good reasons to use more description, too). Further, by slowing the action, the passage becomes less dramatic.

Word choice. Go with words that the average reader knows. This means typically avoiding long words and foreign words. If the reader has to pick up a dictionary, it means she must first put down your book. Also, use of strong dialect can slow the reader down and lessen interest and/or involvement.

Multitask. Dialogue is my favorite way of stating the theme of a work. It is also a great way to show character and mood.

Cutting Words In Flash Fiction

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 I admit, I tend to overwrite. In every form of writing (except syllable-controlled poetry forms). So when I write flash fiction, I need to do a lot of cutting. 

 

Word choice: First, I look for words and phrases that readers might not understand or might throw them out of the story.

• slang
• dialect
• idioms
• difficult-to-read names

Dialogue: Next, I look for wasted words in dialogue. Flash fiction tends to use very little dialogue so I cut a lot here and turn the rest to summaries of conversation.

• unneeded interruptions
• repetition
• dialogue tags
• adjectives and adverbs
• correcting another person

Narrative: Finally, I look at the bulk of the story.

• trivial details
• modifiers
• long sentences
• anything not in POV
• flashbacks and memories
• words that could become contractions

The "Yes" Cliche

YES (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

I was writing today and made this mistake. It brought my dialogue to a screeching halt. I had fallen victim to a clichéd "yes". I was brainstorming alternatives when I realized that no one had ever warned me about the dangers of a clichéd "yes". Here are some reasons to look out for it and some ways to improve on the simple statement. First, three common problems with a simple "yes":

1. If the person simply agrees with a single word answer, there's no conflict, no new information, and no development. With no obstacle, there is nowhere to go. With no new information, there is nothing to react against. With no development, it is a passive response.
2. It is vague. Yes what? Yes, I heard you? Yes, I agree? It just isn't worth fighting you about? Is the speaker just being agreeable? Is the speaker just pretending to listen?
3. It lacks creativity, the first response that comes to mind -- a seemingly easy way out that backfires when it drags down the momentum of the conversation for the reasons stated above.

Built into these reasons hold possibilities for solutions and exceptions. There are times and places for it -- times when a simple "yes" works. (Notice that your options are somewhat limited by your current point-of-view.)

1. Add information to the "yes" that complicates, characterizes, or develops.
2. Use a simple "yes" as an attempt to withhold information or as some other form of passive resistance.
3. Give the "yes" an ulterior motive such as an attempt to defuse a situation, a manipulative ploy, or a lie that hides true intentions.
4. Brainstorm other responses that raise the intensity of the conversation, send it in a new direction, or achieve any (or several) of the above possibilities.

These warnings and possibilities are not unique to the word "yes". Any line that causes your sizzling dialogue to fizzle out deserves the same scrutiny. Sometimes the word or line should not be cut. In that case, look beyond the most obvious, most common, use of the word or words. Get past the cliché. Say "yes" to originality and your dialogue will probably get back on track.

Different Ways to Start a Scene: Part 2

Theater Festival 6 (Photo credit: Niels Linneberg)

Most people have a favorite way to start a scene and a chapter. One way usually comes more naturally. But variety is important for the reader and for the writer. Why is it important for you? Because different types of openings have different effects. They resume the story at different points in the stimulus – reaction – action sequence. In this way, different openings can fill different narrative needs. And experimenting with different types of openings will expand your skills as a writer.

Scenes rarely begin with a flashback but it can be done effectively. One benefit to starting a scene with a flashback as opposed to using the flashback later in the scene is that there is less of a sense that the events of the flashback have already been resolved. Since the flashback takes place in the past, the effects of events have already been felt – mostly. Consider leaving some questions in your flashback unresolved and when you return to the story's present, make the unanswered question a central issue of the scene. A downside of flashbacks is that you have to reorient your reader each time you change time periods. By starting a scene with a flashback, you reduce the number of times you have to reorient from three times to two.

The typical flow of action is stimulus – reaction – action. But you can mix things up a bit by starting a scene with a reaction. The reaction may be to an action that ended the last scene. Or it could be (since this is the start of a scene) a reaction to a stimulus that you have not shown. A reaction is the feeling or thought that the stimulus (immediate conflict or obstacle) generates in the view point character. The reader will read on to find out what caused this reaction so be sure to answer their questions at some point.

A slower way to start a scene is through description. I say slow but it does not have to be that way. Short sentences, short paragraphs, and active verbs all can hasten the pace. Description is an easy way to ground the reader – especially when the setting has changed. Description, when not using the omniscient point-of-view, is limited to what the view point character can experience. A benefit of point-of-view description is that it is easier to establish both character mood and over-all mood. Point-of-view description gives the character a chance to react to surroundings, maybe drop a bit of background information, or even introduce inner conflict.

Most writers have a favorite way to start a scene but they also often become limited in the options that they use. Consider the needs of your scene and experiment with different types of openings. You may even be inspired.

Different Ways to Start a Scene: Part 1

A scene from the Drama (Photo credit: NJ..)

Most people have a favorite way to start a scene and a chapter. One way usually comes more naturally. But variety is important for the reader and for the writer. Why is it important for you? Because different types of openings have different effects. They resume the story at different points in the stimulus – reaction – action sequence. In this way, different openings can fill different narrative needs. And experimenting with different types of openings will expand your skills as a writer.

Open with an omnipotent point of view when you need the reader to know something that is outside of the point-of-view character's realm of experience. This could be an approaching human or natural disaster. When the reader knows about approaching danger but the viewpoint character is ignorant, the knowledge heightens tension and even tranquil action takes on a new sense Omnipotent point-of-view is also a good way to get in quick back-story that sets up the scene and maybe even introduces tension.

Open with dialogue when you want to start off fast. Dialogue moves so starting with talking means starting with movement. Better yet, start in the middle of the conflict instead of setting it up first. This will disorient readers a bit and they will read on to answer the question what's going on? Opening with dialogue is also a quick way to establish the key characters of the scene – they are the ones talking. As a rule of thumb, have the main scene character talk first, followed by the second-most important character (usually the main character's opponent). This establishes a hierarchy of importance for the reader, much like the way you usually start a book by introducing the main character first.

Another way to start the scene off fast is to open with action – no set up, just an action. Again, the reader will be intrigued and read on to find out the set-up. Plan your introduction of the set-up carefully since it will slow your pace. Set-up, when not given at the start of the scene, can be given in pieces or as a whole chunk. Parts can be implied. Flashback can be used (although that typically slows down the scene even more because it takes place in the past and the reader already knows how it turns out). Opening action can ground or disorient the reader. Disorientation needs to be resolved to keep reader interest after a certain point – it seldom can be continued to the end of the scene without loosing the reader.

This post is getting long (there is so much to say), so I am going to divide it into two parts. Keep tuned!

Braiding a Dialogue Scene

There is more to dialogue than talking heads. Dialogue scenes have four threads that may or may not be enclosed in quotation marks. Talk is what makes a dialogue scene, of course. Characters communicating and clashing through words. That is the first thread. The second thread is description. Description is difficult to handle through talking but grounds the reader and helps with mood. A limitation of talk is that it can only touch the surface. While this is what we must settle for in real life, the written word is a different medium. The third thread is character thoughts. The fourth thread is action. Every scene moves the plot forward and while talking allows decisions to be made, a conversation is not a concrete action. Action is usually needed to proved a sense of forward story movement. These threads braid together to create a complete scene.

• Talk: Talk is what the characters actually say. Talk is usually short and fast – rarely more than three sentences at a time. This usually speeds up the pace. When the pace begins to drag, consider using more talk (but only talk with purpose).
• Description: To avoid “talking heads”, the reader needs to know the setting. This can be partially conveyed in dialogue but some will simply need to be written. Description usually slows the scene down so look for places that the pace is too fast or a description of setting is necessary. A quick reminder: description does not need to be static. Active description will slow the pace less than passive descriptions.
• Thought: Thought adds depth and logic by telling (not showing) the view-point character's unspoken reactions. After all, the logical flow of a scene is stimulus-reaction-action. Thought is a way to show reaction. Talking is always an action. It may express a reaction, but it is exactly that – an expression. Thought can also add depth to the conversation by sharing with the reader what the character cannot – or will not – say aloud. Thought can emphasize emotion and reveal motives, lies, rationalizations, or inner conflict.
• Action: Decisions can be made through talking but talking alone does not change the world. Physical action is needed to carry out any resolution or impulse. Physical motion gives readers a feeling of forward motion in the story. Even small actions during dialogue can accelerate the pace of the scene. And action makes dialogue more realistic since conversations seldom last long without some kind of physical movment.

A Dialogue Exercise

Anarky conveys anarchist philosophy through a dialogue in "Anarky: Tomorrow Belongs to Us". Illustration by Staz Johnson. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As an exercise in dialogue, I recorded dialogue that I heard throughout the day. This gave me some surprising insights. I say “hello” instead of “hi” but I say “hey” to the horses. I usually follow a greeting with a compliment. At some point in the last few years, I have slipped into saying “yeah” instead of “yes”.

These may seem pointless observations but when I write dialogue, most my characters say “hi” and “yes” and follow up the greeting with a question. By doing this exercise, I am able to look at patterns of talk. I noticed that most people do not typically greet strangers. And they tend to avoid eye contact with people they do not know. This is good to know for stories.

In my early (and later) attempts at dialogue, people spoke the same. It was formal and in complete sentences. When explaining something, a character might talk for several paragraphs. Real dialogue is much faster paced – with contractions, fragments, and interruptions.

I have been writing dialogue the way I write prose but while the two obey some of the same rules, I now realize that they read very differently. I think dialogue has a more pronounced rhythm, faster pace, and stronger voice. This makes sense since character voices should stand out in the reader's mind while many authors' voices are nearly subliminal.

Real dialogue is also unexpected. I had thought it would be very predictable. But to see what I mean, try to write a conversation between you and someone you know well, then start the conversation for real with that person and hear how quickly (or slowly) the conversation begins to diverge from your predictions. Similarly, written dialogue should not be predictable. I am still studying ways to incorporate unexpected turns, based on how they happen in real life.

I suggest performing this exercise yourself, as awkward as it can be. You may realize something new about dialogue.

Suspense in Dialogue

There are many ways to introduce suspense into dialogue. Suspense is the element of uncertainty. What is going on? What will happen next? Because dialogue is “people telling other people things”, you may wonder how the sharing of information can lead to uncertainty.

• Revelations: The realization that things are not as they seemed a minute ago. This can evoke feelings of wonder, surprise, or unease. Questions arise in the reader's mind about what the revelation means for the character's future.
• Threat: The belief that the character has somehow come under attack. The threat may be to physical well-being, but the threat could also be mental or emotional. The threat usually connects to the scene goal and complicates the goal somehow. The reader should be left uncertain how the character will respond to the threat.
• Thoughts: Often this happens when a viewpoint character thinks something that cannot be said aloud. Thoughts reveal information to the reader that non-viewpoint characters are (usually) not privy to. The reader should be led to wonder if/how/when the “secret” will come out. If the thought is one of inner conflict, the reader will be uncertain how the character will cope. Plans for future action can also be suspenseful, especially if the POV character is unsure whether the plan will succeed.
• Theme: Have a character state the theme and let other characters react. Because the theme is the central topic of your WIP, your characters will have strong – and different opinions about it (even something like “love conquers all” can be controversial for your characters). Voicing the theme can create momentary suspense because the reader knows there are characters who strongly disagree and the reader wonders how such a character will react.

Revision Step 1: Delete! (crossword puzzle)

English: A crossword puzzle created for the learning exercise component of the chapter on Reading in the Psycholinguistics textbook project. Made with the free crossword puzzle generator at http://www.armoredpenguin.com/crossword/. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Here’s a crossword puzzle for the material covered in the blog series, “Revision Step 1: Delete!” I’ll post the answers this evening. Hope you like it!

http://www.armoredpenguin.com/crossword/Data/2013.04/1909/19092529.785.html

How to Write Dialogue (video)

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-write-dialogue

A video about writing good dialogue, especially for introducing and maintaining conflict.

Revision Step 1: Delete for Dialogue!

This blog post looks at what to delete from dialogue in order to improve clarity, voice, logic, and flow. Dialogue is an area I struggle with but many other people love. By deleting content in your first step of revision, you won’t waste time polishing material you will only remove later on. And if deleting content leaves holes, you can brainstorm and fill the gaps with something even better.

• Doesn't advance story. Story is not just plot. It is also the characters, the world, the mood, and the milieu. If a piece of dialogue doesn't do one – or preferably more – of these things, it needs to go!
• Pace. Fragmenting dialogue and thoughts will speed up the pace. Remove some tags and nonconverstional prose.
• Out of character. It is easy for many writers to write the way they talk. It is harder to write the way the character talks. Make sure to remove your slips of tongue. Keep in mind not only the characters' education, social class, and time period, but also their moods, who they are talking to, and where they are when they are talking (setting).
• Poor logic. There are three pieces to any event: stimulus/cause, internalization/reaction, response/action. In that order, please!

This is Part 5 of a series of five blog entries that look at deleting to improve Style, Events, Summary and Description, Characters, and Dialogue.

Three very different book on improving dialogue…

Cheney, Theodore. Getting the Words Right. Cincinnati: Ohio, Writer's Digest Books, 2005. 2^nd edition.

Kempton, Gloria. Dialogue. Cincinnati: Ohio, Writer's Digest Books, 2004.

Spencer, Brent. Dialogue Tips & Traps: A Guide for Fiction Writers. Writers Workshop Press, 2012. 1^st edition. Ebook.