Anger and
Resentment:
Both anger and resentment come from the feeling of being wronged.
Anger is more “in the moment” while resentment simmers. For me
at least, I feel anger and resentment towards myself more often than
towards other people. I have strong feelings about how I should act,
the amount and quality of my writing, my (hoped) degree of
professionalism, the list goes on. When I don't meet my standards, I
get angry at myself. But we get angry and resentful of others, too.
People who don't agree with our perceptions, who criticize and
doubt, who don't meet out expectations. How do we fight anger and
resentment?
Be Reactive:
Choose how you react! Question your response. How were you wronged?
Is the person actually wrong or simply wrong in the way the
belief/claim was expressed (a different sort of wrong)? How would
you have said it? Remember that however they said it, they voiced an
opinion, not an unalterable truth. You do not have to agree with
them! You know that their different opinion does not make them bad
people.
Be
Proactive:
Change how you act! Most people would agree that lashing out is bad
but that does not mean that you cannot express your anger or
resentment. Find a productive way to express your belief that they
are wrong. Back up your argument with reasons. Be polite and do not
confront the person if you hope to change their minds. If it was
partly the way they said something that made you angry, it is fine
to say so, especially if you suggest another way they could say it.
They may not have meant to be rude and simply spoke the only way
they knew how to speak. Maybe you can help them avoid a repeat of
the mistake.
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